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the bitch
There's nothing interesting about me, except the fact that I really should stop switching blogs.
bitch de nuit
Another pretentious way of saying "Bitch, please."
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Tuesday, November 4, 2008
"Fake It Till You Make It"
Someone, I can't remember who, but someone proposed this cynic-driven adage to me during my past month of pathetic. I was hopeful and hopeless, both painfully coexisting at the same time. I believed in the good, yet none was within my grasp. Yes, the adage - "Fake it till you make it". I shrugged it off, my last standing pride of honesty to others, much less myself, fiercely standing in the way of such an abomination.
But in sight of recent events, I see the point now. I see the truth that lies in those five words, I see the 'it' in "fake" and "make", I see the glass half full, I see the burden of the truth, and more than ever, I see the "L", "I" and "E" in "LIFE".
You, you and you. You destroyed me, in ways I never thought someone who loved me as much as you did could. You, on the other hand, threw me into this constant state of self-awareness to compensate for your lack of a personality, slowly slicing the little confidence I have left away as if I was a helpless kebab spinning into an overdone roast. And you, you were my last straw and you bent me so out of shape for your own selfish desires, your own little games and gains.
Perhaps, this is change. This is the change I need, none of that celibacy and waiting I forked on my plate a month ago. My life is at stake here, and I'm done letting all three of yours matter more than mine ever did. If I have to go through the rest of my years plating my pan seared lies around you, over you and under you, so be it; if anyone is ever going to destroy me - it's going to be me.
You know who you are, but here's the head start none of you deserved anyway.
0 anal amy
